Sunday, 31 August 2008, 16:14
a day i'll never forget~
Basically, Friday has been rather...eventful, for me. Apparently, the news about "that" arrived on thursday night. And mum choose to tell me the next day. It failed. It's over. And I'm the cause. I was dumbstruck when I heard the news. I can't help but feel that it's my fault. He TOTALLY deserves it, but he's...what about his family? us? For the entire trip to school, I had to keep chanting in my head that he brought it upon himself, it's not my fault...but guilt keep gnawing my heart...my mood for that day is TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY spoiled.
When I reached school, numbess overtook me again. I acted as if there is an overdose of 'high-ness' and approached my class. Then -that person- saw me, and gave me a black face. 'high-ness' level dropped by half. Wanted to tell -that person- about the results, but -that person- ignored me and went to sit with others. 'high-ness' dropped to 0, and emo level rose to the highest.
我有一肚子的苦水想土出来和-那个人-诉苦，可是面对着-那个人-的不理不睬，实在是。。。无法用言语解释的。。。
Went to give out presents I prepared last night to Mrs Ram, Miss Lai and Mdm Yong. Plus, now owe Miss Koh a present. :) All presents super last minute, my mum suddenly whipped out all those from her 'collection', so i took it...hope they liked it...
After that, went to the hall to watch concert. Then actually -that person- sat with me, made me feel that maybe -that person- not angry at me for who knows what reason, then another person wants to sit with -that person-, so I moved away. Throughout the concert, hardly enjoyed myself. The guilt and sadness weighed on me and worsened when -that person- TOTALLY ignored me. sighs...
Went to BPP library and saw my childhood friend, Eleanor. Super damn missed her. In the end, I left BPP with rui yun and rui fang, bought some fries from Fish Express (the fries taste awesome!), and proceeded to BPPS. By then, my mood is already better. I was super damn relieved when I saw the school was opened. We three went inside, where we were overwhelmed my so many different faces which I'm sure who are ALL younger than us. I approached Miss Nadiah first, since she;s most easily recognisable as she taught me PE before and knows Mdm Fazlin from KSS. She knows my face, and cannot remember my name. lol! Miss Nadiah is so fun to talk with!
I regained my chatty self and began to explore the place that I grew up in. Saw many new things, but also saw many old things that made me remember of the past, which i THOUGHT i had been happy in. Thinking back, I most definitely was happier in BPPS than in KSS...
After that, I spoke to Miss Ang(not consider conversing, she looked at me and ignored me. -_-), Mrs Lim who remembered my age and not my name, mdm teo, who remembered my name correctly, and talked to some other teachers who never taught me before. Then, I saw THEM. They approached me and the twins, and said, "you are Aileen right?" I was omigod someone knew my name but I couldn't remember theirs! Then they told me they are peiyun and wei qi, and i recalled that we were once classmates!!!We took one picture together and exchanged contacts with each other! then later saw sin ee, also my ex-classmate, and we chatted for a while before leaving as a teacher is chasing everyone out since visiting hours were over. I walked towards the teacher, and here's what our conversation was like:
Me: Mr Ravi, HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! You forgot about me already right?
Mr Ravi: Aya, I know your face, but cannot remember your name! You sec 3 is it?
Me: Mr Ravi, ALL of us sec 4 already! I'm Aileen! Think you cannot remember, but you taught when I'm in primary 2 before, after Mr Ng left!
Mr Ravi (looking damn happy and pleased): Wah, you still can remember me as your primary school teacher ah? I'm so touched you know! How long was it already?
Me: (counting...) EIGHT years already! Time passes by REALLY fast right!
Mr Ravi (looking EVEN happier if possible): Wow! EIGHT years and you still remember me! (looks at another teacher and gestured at me) My first batch of students that i taught when i first came to BPPS! See, she still remember me. alamak, really touched lah!
I could almost swear that the teacher (new one) is looking damn enviously at Mr Ravi. It was then, when I realised my decision at coming back is correct. It really makes me so happy when the teachers felt so touched that I could take some time off to visit them. Mr Ravi showedd me that from the look of happiness on his face which is so evident. It makes him and every other teacher that i meet feels proud and happy when a student still remembers them. I'll never forget this day. NEVER. Perhaps, after visiting KSS next year, I'll come back to BPPS again. I love it.
Other than a visit to the doctor, nothing else happened. so ya, I'm going to stop at here. Bet you all felt bored after reading my boring post, or maybe you didn't even finish it. lol. But I don't care. because only people who truely cared about me will come here frequently to see if i've updated or not. and i really truely appreciate them. Thanks.
~AiLEeN*
When I reached school, numbess overtook me again. I acted as if there is an overdose of 'high-ness' and approached my class. Then -that person- saw me, and gave me a black face. 'high-ness' level dropped by half. Wanted to tell -that person- about the results, but -that person- ignored me and went to sit with others. 'high-ness' dropped to 0, and emo level rose to the highest.
我有一肚子的苦水想土出来和-那个人-诉苦，可是面对着-那个人-的不理不睬，实在是。。。无法用言语解释的。。。
Went to give out presents I prepared last night to Mrs Ram, Miss Lai and Mdm Yong. Plus, now owe Miss Koh a present. :) All presents super last minute, my mum suddenly whipped out all those from her 'collection', so i took it...hope they liked it...
After that, went to the hall to watch concert. Then actually -that person- sat with me, made me feel that maybe -that person- not angry at me for who knows what reason, then another person wants to sit with -that person-, so I moved away. Throughout the concert, hardly enjoyed myself. The guilt and sadness weighed on me and worsened when -that person- TOTALLY ignored me. sighs...
Went to BPP library and saw my childhood friend, Eleanor. Super damn missed her. In the end, I left BPP with rui yun and rui fang, bought some fries from Fish Express (the fries taste awesome!), and proceeded to BPPS. By then, my mood is already better. I was super damn relieved when I saw the school was opened. We three went inside, where we were overwhelmed my so many different faces which I'm sure who are ALL younger than us. I approached Miss Nadiah first, since she;s most easily recognisable as she taught me PE before and knows Mdm Fazlin from KSS. She knows my face, and cannot remember my name. lol! Miss Nadiah is so fun to talk with!
I regained my chatty self and began to explore the place that I grew up in. Saw many new things, but also saw many old things that made me remember of the past, which i THOUGHT i had been happy in. Thinking back, I most definitely was happier in BPPS than in KSS...
After that, I spoke to Miss Ang(not consider conversing, she looked at me and ignored me. -_-), Mrs Lim who remembered my age and not my name, mdm teo, who remembered my name correctly, and talked to some other teachers who never taught me before. Then, I saw THEM. They approached me and the twins, and said, "you are Aileen right?" I was omigod someone knew my name but I couldn't remember theirs! Then they told me they are peiyun and wei qi, and i recalled that we were once classmates!!!We took one picture together and exchanged contacts with each other! then later saw sin ee, also my ex-classmate, and we chatted for a while before leaving as a teacher is chasing everyone out since visiting hours were over. I walked towards the teacher, and here's what our conversation was like:
Me: Mr Ravi, HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! You forgot about me already right?
Mr Ravi: Aya, I know your face, but cannot remember your name! You sec 3 is it?
Me: Mr Ravi, ALL of us sec 4 already! I'm Aileen! Think you cannot remember, but you taught when I'm in primary 2 before, after Mr Ng left!
Mr Ravi (looking damn happy and pleased): Wah, you still can remember me as your primary school teacher ah? I'm so touched you know! How long was it already?
Me: (counting...) EIGHT years already! Time passes by REALLY fast right!
Mr Ravi (looking EVEN happier if possible): Wow! EIGHT years and you still remember me! (looks at another teacher and gestured at me) My first batch of students that i taught when i first came to BPPS! See, she still remember me. alamak, really touched lah!
I could almost swear that the teacher (new one) is looking damn enviously at Mr Ravi. It was then, when I realised my decision at coming back is correct. It really makes me so happy when the teachers felt so touched that I could take some time off to visit them. Mr Ravi showedd me that from the look of happiness on his face which is so evident. It makes him and every other teacher that i meet feels proud and happy when a student still remembers them. I'll never forget this day. NEVER. Perhaps, after visiting KSS next year, I'll come back to BPPS again. I love it.
Other than a visit to the doctor, nothing else happened. so ya, I'm going to stop at here. Bet you all felt bored after reading my boring post, or maybe you didn't even finish it. lol. But I don't care. because only people who truely cared about me will come here frequently to see if i've updated or not. and i really truely appreciate them. Thanks.
~AiLEeN*