Wednesday, 14 November 2007, 12:59
guess i haven't been blogging recently...my mum banned me from using the computer, but sometimes i just don't care her...just play for all i want until she starts to scold...i've made some very unsure decisions recently, my mum gave me a very long talk last week, and although i hate to admit, but what she says is true to some extent. so i guess...i might seem a little distant around other people...coz now i'm having doubts about every relationship i have now, friendship, kinship, and others... i'm seriously lacking confidence in myself, and starting to question the existence of me. i felt useless. i feel that every single one in the world hates me, or even backstabbing me. what my mum says really answered my questions that i have for some people, as to why they did those things, which really hurt me.
to some people, i might seem, cold? i don't know, but i know myself that i'm stuborn. even if i've done something wrong or right, i wouldn't admit it. as to now, i felt betrayed. by many people surrounding me. so what else can i do? avoid? i don't know. i am quite confued myself about the decisions i've made, and i'm not sure if i'm gonna regret it myself. many things happened this year, especially nowadays. some happy things, but mostly unhappy, and it made an enormous turn in my life. i don't know what's right, or what's wrong now...
waiting for my god to appear and save me from darkness...
~AiLEeN*
to some people, i might seem, cold? i don't know, but i know myself that i'm stuborn. even if i've done something wrong or right, i wouldn't admit it. as to now, i felt betrayed. by many people surrounding me. so what else can i do? avoid? i don't know. i am quite confued myself about the decisions i've made, and i'm not sure if i'm gonna regret it myself. many things happened this year, especially nowadays. some happy things, but mostly unhappy, and it made an enormous turn in my life. i don't know what's right, or what's wrong now...
waiting for my god to appear and save me from darkness...
~AiLEeN*